"Nice Try, Life Time" - Scot Gehret - "Something"

Hello folks!

We have another installment for the "Nice Try Life Time" poem series!Remember, our Local Lovers open mic will be February 22 at Rozz Tox! Come join us and share your work! Today's poem comes from Scot Gehret. I hope you all enjoy it!

by Scot Alan Gehret

Something’s missing here
and I don’t know
what to look for
due to the fact
that I need
to first know
what it is
I am looking for
to enable myself
to conduct a decent search
of the area.

Which leads my second problem--
where do I start looking
for said “something”?

I mean, if I don’t have a clue
as to what it is
I am searching for,
how can I even decide
on a place
to start looking
for this unknown “something”?

And let’s just say,
for shits and giggles,
I have some vision telling me
where to start looking,
and lo and behold, I somehow find it.

How would I even know I found it
if I still have no idea what “it” is.

Shit, it could sitting
right straight in front of me
and I would have no clue.

Hell, in the end,
maybe I’m not really missing
anything at all,
and it’s all just in my head,
making my search for this “something”
nothing but a colossal waste of time,
or maybe time is the “something”
I am missing
And wouldn’t that be a shame,
considering I’ve spent
all this time
searching for...time--
more time to figure out what I don’t know,
more time to understand the world around me,
more time to love longer and deeper,
more time to cope with the fact
that “something” is missing here
and I don’t know what it is
and it is driving me crazy!

I’ve torn apart my home
from top to bottom,
looking inside and out,
trying to find that elusive “something”,
yet I find nothing
but a pocket full of change,
and a love letter from Kimmy
kept in some book by James Joyce.

Maybe I can find that “something”
within the words of her letter.

So I read and reread it,
forwards and back
and find nothing
but sincere words of love
leaving me feeling guilty
that something’s missing here
and I don’t know what.

Maybe she thinks
we have everything
we need in each other
and becomes upset thinking
I didn’t feel the same way too,
or maybe she feels
the same way as me
and instead of helping
find that missing “something”,
she will blame me  
for losing it,
or maybe she feels as if
I am somehow blaming her
for this missing “something”,
which will cause her to leave
and then I won’t give a damn
about any “missing something”
because then there will truly be
something missing
and no time in the world,
will be enough
to find that certain something
and once again
I will be alone,
wondering what it was
I was looking for
when I lost the only thing
that truly matters...

and I just wish
to stop thinking
there’s “something” missing

and I don’t know what.

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